Weaponising the Children: The Silent Reality of Post-Separation Abuse

Behind the everyday chaos of the school run lies another reality: for many mothers, the fight against abuse continues long after separation.

Today, while many parents were caught in the familiar chaos of the first day of school, I was also logging into the government website to file yet another application to court — representing myself, again.

Why? Because for so many survivors, abuse does not end when the relationship ends. It shifts. It hides. It often resurfaces in the arena of child contact.

Despite the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, there is still no single criminal offence of “domestic abuse.” Survivors are left to navigate systems that prioritise shared parenting at all costs, without recognising the nuances of coercive control, post-separation abuse, or the lived realities of mothers and children.

This is not just my story — it is the story of thousands of women across the UK.

It’s also why I do the work I do through SHIFTwithin CIC: to shine a light on these hidden realities, to support women and children through separation and beyond, and to advocate for systemic change in how we respond to domestic abuse.

Because until we stop treating child contact as a battleground and start recognising post-separation abuse for what it is, children will continue to be weaponised — and mothers will continue to fight battles they should never have to face.

If any part of my story resonates with you, please know you are not alone. Reach out, share your voice, and take the steps you need for yourself and your children. And if you’d like to connect with my work through SHIFTwithin CIC, you can find more here: www.shiftwithin.co.uk